i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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