Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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