there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
