Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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