Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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