Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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