i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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