i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
