I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My ATM looks so different sober.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
