Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
