ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
