I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Drake has all the answers
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
