Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
