how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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