Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
