I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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