Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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