yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
