Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
