So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Fuck appropriateness.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Every concussion has its silver lining
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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