so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
