Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
