I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
