ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
