I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize