All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
