worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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