I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
