New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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