hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
