I molested 6 butterflies tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize