i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
