Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
