life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
