maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
