we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
