Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
