mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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