For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
