He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
