Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
