I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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