we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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