So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize