So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
