Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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