I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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