I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize