Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
