i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
