What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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