Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
