I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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