some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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