So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
