We should be called the Road Head Warriors
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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