well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I didn't notice because vodka
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
