There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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