at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize