It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
